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Submitted by Gaylord Herman
Anchorage, AK
Feb. 18, 2002

Fred had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there.

Name's Ned....Your neighbor from 40 miles away.... Having a party Friday....Thought you might like to come. About 5..." "Great" says Fred, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks.

Thank you." As Ned is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you... There's gonna be some drinkin." "Not a problem....after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em." Again, as he starts to leave, Ned stops. "More'n likely gonna be some fightin' too." Fred says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Ned turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." "Now that's really not a problem" says Fred. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?" Ned stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us".

(Enhanced for Netscape)

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